Hanging with Ethicals

Ethical Humans!

Attending a memorial service is not exactly hanging out with friends, but I recently attended one held for Susan Rose Teshu, who died in July.  Even though I never met her in person, I felt a need to attend this memorial service to honor a woman who had been so active in Ethical Culture for so many years and was so clearly beloved by many.  Susan served for several years as the Dean of Leadership Training for the American Ethical Union and, some years ago, well before COVID introduced us all to Zoom meetings, hosted Ethical Society Without Walls, an online community for those who did not live near an active Ethical Culture Society.  

I refer to attending her memorial service in the lighter tone of "hanging out" because, although I didn't know Susan or her family, I knew many who were in the audience.  I also felt instantly included in the group, even though I arrived a few minutes late (time zones bite).  This was more than the sense of familiarity that comes with entering a room of acquaintances.  It was the sense that I was in a room with like hearted people.  "Safe" is the word that is being tossed around these days, and I have to say that I felt safe in a space with few personal friends.  

I think the feeling came from being with people that I knew to be Ethicals (whether they identify as Ethical Culturists or Ethical Humanists).  These were people that I could trust to recognize my worth as a human being and treat me with integrity.

The remembrances expressed about Susan and her life and work were sometimes moving, sometimes not at all clear to me.  I had my own experiences with loss to help me see the catharsis that such remembrances were actively providing for the speakers.  I was also moved to tears as my own remembrances of grief provided a background context for looking at the gallery (as the "room" is called in Zoom), seeing familiar faces, recognizing smiles and deep feelings, sharing the emotions of loss and love.  

I think Susan Rose is part of the reason that these like hearted people could gather in such a way and create a safe space for expressing and feeling emotion. Her leadership and the training she provided--part of a tradition that began many years ago--helped foster this attitude of acceptance and welcome.  I think many of  the people who gathered to honor her do the same for others.  I think part of why they can do that is because Ethical Culture starts with a commitment to attribute worth to each person we meet.  All are welcome, all are accepted, even if they are late, even if they never say a word.  I came to honor Susan; I left healed and strengthened.