In with the New, Out with the Old

How can we be sticky?

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That seems to be the way we think these days.  If it's old, throw it away.  If it is old, something--anything--new will be better.  Unfortunately, there is no "away."  If it is material and old, it has to go somewhere.  If it is non-material and old, there is that thing about "tried and true" to be considered.  There is also that problem of defining (and agreeing upon) "better."  I suppose this makes me a hoarder of both things and ideas, but I'd rather think of myself as someone who appreciates the value of things (whether physical or intellectual) as useful objects, even if they only serve to help me understand the world a little bit better.

So, it's a new year.  I am cleaning and clearing a bit.  I ran across an old document from my community organizing days.  It's so old, it was printed with a dot matrix printer.  The title is "Telephone Committee," and the entire (one-page) document is a plan for communicating within a community about events, issues, and needs.  There's a committee chair, 4 committee members, 4 groups of contacts with telephone numbers, and the mandate is simple:  connect to our neighbors, inform them of issues and events, listen to their concerns, bring those concerns back to the center of the organization.

Times have changed, of course.  Most homes no longer have a single "land line" for the whole house to use.  Email and texts have largely taken the place of personal phone calls.  Neighbors seem to meet face-to-face less often (although some may communicate through online groups via Facebook or other platforms).  If I were to propose that we form a Telephone Committee to my neighborhood today, I would be laughed at as out-of-touch and a technological failure.  

Even so, seeing that old Telephone Committee list brought back a reminder of the social context as well as the technological context.  Yes, we have new tech and new ways to communicate these days.  But, look again.  One of the major problems facing our nation today is loneliness.  Our nation is divided by technology that transmits false messages with high persuasiveness.  Our social institutions are literally crumbling around us as we lose confidence in those who lead and/or serve us.  

That Telephone Committee list, however, spoke of a social connection among the homeowners of a single neighborhood.  Despite diversity in age and income and social history, there was common concern with environmental issues, public services (and lack thereof), local government actions that would affect the comfort and cost of living in that neighborhood.  There was, in the limited framework of those (still quite broad) issues, a cohesion and a sense of belonging to a group with purpose and value.  The Telephone Committee played a role in developing and maintaining the group, serving as a connector between the more activist "leaders" and those who were concerned, but not actively working on the issues until called into action.  Rather than being "top-down," however, the TC was meant to serve as a conduit for "bottom-up" messages as well, so that the whole group could both listen and react as needed.  As an added benefit of those "connections," more informal social relations could be developed (e.g., friendships, business contacts, etc.) and "social security" within the group could be improved (e.g., neighborly help, assistance for seniors, childcare, etc.).

While the old days are certainly gone--and I don't live in that neighborhood anymore--I'm thinking that the need for a Telephone Committee might still exist.  Yes, we have email and Facebook and all that, but we still have need to "belong" as well as to "care" and to "act."  Putting this in the context of the Ethical Society rather than a physical neighborhood, once we get past the email part, the main basis of connection is the Sunday meeting.  Even that is problematic for building community since we are geographically so scattered--for the Austin Society as well as others.  While Zoom can bring even distant members together for a Sunday meeting, the question that occurs to me is how we can bridge the social distance that the physical distance is creating/prolonging/exacerbating.  

I think the ESOA Membership Committee is working on that issue.  A big part of any Membership Committee's job is not only recruitment but retention, and the initial effort of our new committee chair to focus on life events (birthdays) was good start.  I wasn't as "excited" about that effort last year as I was this year.  Last year I delayed telling the MC about my birthday until it was past--didn't want to be "asking" for attention or some nonsense.  This year, I was out of town for my birthday, but I had an electronic notice service from the USPS telling me that I had some mail from the MC waiting for me.  I knew it was a birthday card, and that pleased me.  Even better, when I got home, I had a card with a caring and uplifting message that made me feel, well, cared for and uplifted.  

The MC didn't stop with cards, tho.  Now we have a monthly gathering to craft.  The name of the group is a problem--"Stitch and Bitch" was offered by someone, but the current moniker is "Yarn and Yak"--which still makes me twitch--but the purpose of the group is "to build community."  As hard as it is to organize myself to leave the house and drive 30 miles, dragging a bag of beads and tools behind me (I don't knit), I see building community as an essential function of an Ethical Society--and an essential duty for me as a member of the Society.  This effort is a work in progress, but it is, I believe, worth the effort.  

The Austin Society is small.  Yes, we need to grow.  We also need to "stick."  Being "sticky" will help members find their place within the community that we have built (and are still building) and, hopefully, provide some of those social connections that lead to mutual support as well as to collective action.  

That being said, I know that the MC chair is working on another "old" tactic--the welcome letter.  I know for a fact that is an oldie but a goodie.  I received a welcome message (email) after my first visit to ESOA, and, never thinking that it might be "standard operating procedure," was thrilled to be welcomed and invited to come back for more.  (Cf. loneliness above.)  Unfortunately, the current version of our welcome letter is a tad out of date, and the things it promotes need some work.  That's another place at which duty seems to pop up.  The MC chair can't do this by herself, so the Communications Committee and others have some work to do.  All those links in the welcome letter need to be updated.  We could even work on being more outgoing about the things that we are doing:  If we find it interesting and satisfying to attend our events or take part in our activities, maybe others would too.  A new year is a good time to think about how we can do what we are doing a little bit better, even if we are doing it "old school," one person at a time.

Time to get sticky!  (And, great job, Lynn!)

Fire and Ethical Friends

Fuego is a local eating establishment which seems to be popular with graduates of the local university.  I selected it as the place to meet up with several friends from Ethical (one of the New Jersey branches) who were passing through en route to view the upcoming solar eclipse.  I had intended to invite them to that local establishment also known as the Texas Stop Sign (DQ), but a quick check showed no coffee on the menu and an opening time of 10:00 am.  Fuego is open 24 hours.  

So we met.  I knew all three of my visitors either from working together through the American Ethical Union or attending the same meetings online.  It was really nice to meet them all three in person.  We had a chance to share some Texas foods (banana pudding, breakfast tacos, horchata--and coffee, of course).  We also shared a bond, each having our own experiences of the past few months of drama in the AEU and each extending spoken and unspoken words of empathy and compassion for the slings and arrows that seem to have flown out of that drama.  

What I had not expected was the depth of discussion that we had about the ups and downs of membership in Ethical Culture.  As with most forms of religious community these days, our membership is declining.  We talked about "nones," and the apparent commitment in that group to remain uncommitted.  We talked a bit about the social shifts that occurred because of the COVID pandemic, and the technology that continues to support our isolation.  

The conversation gave me a chance to talk about my own ideas about membership growth.  The 1% reversal of decline that moves us in a positive direction.  The need to be a visible to those who are needing--or seeking--our community.  The back and forth of discussion pointed out a weakness or two in my ideas and opened new possibilities of thought.  In other words, it was an Ethical discussion among Ethicals about Ethical--conducted ethically.  What a delight!

We often think of the positive benefits of our community in terms of a safe haven, a compassionate space, a warm welcome.  We share our joys and concerns and get to know each other better.  All true and good.  I think our community also provides a chance to exchange ideas in an open manner with respect for each other as well as for reality.  How refreshing!

Fuego ("fire" in Spanish) provided us with a different "light of understanding, warmth of compassion, and fire of commitment."  The banana pudding was good, too!

Individualism vs Community

A Selfie with Felix Adler

Because of the work that I am doing on the Bibliography of Ethical Culture, I have had the opportunity to read some of the early works of leaders in the Ethical Culture Movement.  One theme that tends to appear over and over again is the distinction between individualism and community.  That is, while Ethical Culture is based on strong commitments to freedom of conscience for the individual and and the right of all humans to be treated with dignity and respect for their inherent worth, there is an equally strong counterpoint that no individual singly and on their own can succeed in becoming the better person that we all strive to be.  The latter achievement requires accepting and working within relationships in family, Ethical Society, and community to come to understand the right way to live and work in those relationships.

The divergence of these ideas can be a fairly tough knot to untangle, especially (and perhaps ironically) for the single thinker.  Nevertheless, I want to become that better person, so I do spend a fair bit of time trying to untangle that knot.  Here's what I think I know:

• Freedom of conscience allows each individual to reach their own conclusions about what to believe about whatever matters matter in their world.  If one's concern is how humans came into existence, one has an abundance of explanations for that existence to choose from.  Those who follow the Abrahamic religions tend to think that the first man and first woman were created by a supernatural and omnipotent being in a Garden.  Other traditions in the Americas, Africa, and Asia offer other explanations.  Darwin's theory of evolution was shaking the foundation of a number of belief systems from the middle of the 19th century, offering a different explanation of human existence based on science and material evidence.  In his founding address, Felix Adler asserted "Believe or disbelieve as ye list; we shall at all times respect every honest conviction."  Many who belong to the Ethical Culture Movement are non-theists, but there is strong culture within Ethical Culture that respects those who do have theistic beliefs both within and outside of our Movement.  
• One reason why I found Ethical Culture as I was looking for a "like-minded" community was the realization that both organized atheists and organized humanists asserted their non-theism as their only positive belief and spoke in demeaning terms about those who had theistic beliefs.  I didn't like the negative emptiness that seemed to be their belief, and I really didn't like the hate speech that came out as opposition to the "honest convictions" of others.  While I don't follow the belief systems practiced by any of the world's major (and minor) religions, I do not care to be among those who attack the believers as somehow inferior for having those beliefs.  Fortunately, I found a footnote that referenced Ethical Culture and so found a like-minded and like-hearted community.
• The inherent dignity of each individual person--regardless of "value" or "character"--is essential to the ECM.  This includes everyone regardless of color, creed, national origin, gender, ability, etc.  That worth requires that we act in a manner that respects it and the person who carries it.  Even if we don't like them.  Even if we don't believe what they believe.  Even if we don't like what they do.  
• "Worth" and "dignity" seem to be used interchangeably, with "dignity" being a more modern term.  "Dignity" is also echoed in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
• "Value" is typically distinguished from "worth," being something that might increase or be compared from one person to another.  "Worth" simply is.  
• Respecting the worth of another person may imply a minimum standard of courtesy for all interactions, but it definitely precludes anything that is harmful or disrespectful.

Both freedom of conscience and inherent dignity/worth relate to individuals.  I have freedom of conscience.  I have inherent worth.  But so do others, which implies that I  should respect their beliefs and their dignity as a person--just as they should respect mine.  This leads rather quickly to the matter of relationships and how we treat each other.  Ethical Culture goes further, however, to value the various relationships in which we find ourselves, requiring us not only to act properly within those relationships but to consider that the relationships are an opportunity to learn about ourselves as well as others and to grow in the direction of better and more Ethical behaviors.  As we are a spouse, we should seek to become better spouses.  As we are siblings or children or parents, we should work to become better in those roles.  Similarly in our community lives as students or workers or citizens.  Each relationship requires more of our effort to become the best we can be in those roles because our roles affect the others with whom we are in relationship.

Relationships become, then, the tool that we use to become better persons.  It is not enough to isolate ourselves to study ideas and the facts of science or history.  Where there are no relationships, there are (it seems) no Ethics.  It is when we interact with others that our Ethics are applied and tested.  Where they succeed, we succeed.  Where they fail, we learn what not to do and try to do better.  In this way (it seems), community is essential to Ethical Culture because it is in our community that we learn from (and with) each other and grow together.  In this way, the freedom and worth of the individual becomes  whole only in community.

Or so it seems to me.  What do you think?